How to Know When You Need Rest (& Where to Begin)

Apr 11

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A few months ago, I asked in my stories how you motivate yourself. Immediately, something in my mind said, “what if we don’t need more motivation, but more rest?” So then I asked: how do you know if what you REALLY need is rest?

There’s a difference! Sometimes, we just need a little motivational jumpstart, but often, I think we actually need to rest and recharge. In response to the question, every type said something along the lines of: I know I need rest when I don’t want to see loved ones, I can’t find motivation, I’m irritable, and I’m exhausted. I think that rather than being Enneagram-specific, these are all just aspects of being human.

I recommend the following books for more insight -

Sacred Rest by Saundra Dalton-Smith

Burnout by Emily Nagoski & Amelia Nagoski

Don’t have time to read? I feel ya! When I want to learn about someone’s work but feel pressed for time, I often search the author’s name in my podcasting app! You can hear some fantastic insights and learn a lot, even before you buy the book (which I typically end up doing anyway!) The authors above also have TED talks available online.

Burnout TEDTalk // Sacred Rest TEDTalk

I’d love to suggest a little homework assignment for us this week: write down a couple of practical things you can do that help you feel rested and refueled. The ideas provided are from others of each type, but they don’t have to work for you! Use these ideas to brainstorm what rest might look like in your life.

You might be familiar with the Nine Types of Rest post I wrote a few years ago! The suggestions here are similar, but they’re more fleshed out and varied. In the post below, you’ll find the graphics from Instagram - click on them to read comments from others of your type or pin them to save them on Pinterest!

Type One

I know I need rest when...

I can’t focus
My body shuts down
I am very irritable and get angry quickly
I feel drained at the thought of doing something I love
I become overwhelmed from taking on too much
I do something opposite of my normal routine or values
I’m working but not getting anything done

Rest that might help for an Enneagram One. (Remember, these are just ideas! Use these to help brainstorm or experiment with what might work for you.)

Do something just for fun: finding joy is not a waste of time
Get some fresh air
Spend time in solitude to recharge
Talk it out with someone who will listen
Let someone know you need help doing everything on your plate
Give yourself time to process through journaling, reflection, or meditation

Type Two

I know I need rest when…

I am feeling resentful or bitter
I can’t bring myself to empathize
I don’t want others to reach out or ask for anything
I’m impatient with people I love
I look around and my physical space looks like I don’t care
I become demanding of those around me
I make my struggles very apparent to others (this is not always a bad thing, but it’s not what I normally do)

Rest that might help for an Enneagram Two. (Remember, these are just ideas! Use these to help brainstorm or experiment with what might work for you.)

Spend time alone
Pay attention to your own needs
Remember: you don’t have to be helpful all the time
Do something creative
Watch something that will make you laugh
Set good boundaries for your emotional responsibility (& if you’re not sure yet, reflect on what that might look like for you)

Type Three

I know I need rest when...

I’m pulling away from people I love
I’m so overwhelmed that I can’t focus
People around me start observing I seem burned out
I get sick (but I’m working on learning to rest first!)
I can’t stop thinking about work
My emotions are on the surface
My productivity is slacking & I can’t do anything about it

Rest that might help for an Enneagram Three. (Remember, these are just ideas! Use these to help brainstorm or experiment with what might work for you.)

Take a walk or make time for exercise
Do something enjoyable that isn’t connected to results or metrics (like a hobby or creative project just for you)
Block off a day or an afternoon to do NOTHING
Journal or meditate to connect to things that are true of you, unrelated to your accomplishments
Let yourself off the hook - you don’t have to be productive
Read that last one again ;)

Type Four

I know I need rest when...

My brain feels foggy and I’m going in circles
Trying to push through makes me lash out or cry uncontrollably
I feel easily overwhelmed and tense
I feel like hiding from loved ones
I start helping others to avoid helping myself
My emotions run my schedule
It feels like I don’t have any creativity or thinking power left

Rest that might help for an Enneagram Four. (Remember, these are just ideas! Use these to help brainstorm or experiment with what might work for you.)

Spend time in reflection while listening to music
Go for a drive in a beautiful place (whatever that means for you)
Allow yourself to say no to obligations
Talk to a friend who makes you feel seen
Create something just for you: remember it’s about appreciating the process, not about perfection
Take a social media break and spend time studying a new interest instead

Type Five

I know I need rest when...

I can’t bring myself to try to reach out or connect
I feel like I am taking longer than normal to recharge
My mind feels cluttered and I can’t sort it out
I feel frustrated constantly
I perceive that others are constantly encroaching on my time/space
Even small tasks seem like too much
I start forgetting things that I normally remember

Rest that might help for an Enneagram Five. (Remember, these are just ideas! Use these to help brainstorm or experiment with what might work for you.).

Go somewhere you want to go alone
Talk with someone who shares your interests
Take some alone time to think & process
Go for a walk or spend time outdoors to recenter
Remind yourself it’s okay to take your time
Get lost in something that interests you – notice what has helped you feel refreshed in the past, and lean in

Type Six

I know I need rest when...

I think, “Everything leads to a dead end, so why try?”
I say the “too truthful” things I normally keep to myself
I feel like there are too many things to focus on
I feel like my mind is going in circles
I act entitled/impatient with people who aren’t thorough
I get tunnel vision and think if I do one more thing I’ll feel better
I am agitated or snippy with others

Rest that might help for an Enneagram Six. (Remember, these are just ideas! Use these to help brainstorm or experiment with what might work for you.)

Take a nap (if you’re not a nap person, prioritize your sleep at night if you can)
Go somewhere that feels safe and peaceful for a walk
Spend time with someone who feels like home
Take a shower or bath to clear your head
Deep, centering breaths
Remember, you are not responsible for everything / everyone

Type Seven

I know I need rest when...

I don’t care about doing anything
I am unusually teary
I dread social activities with others (that I would normally like)
I get drained by people instead of energized by them
I’m constantly frustrated that things aren’t going my way
I get anxious that I will get trapped in my feelings
I’ve just been going through the motions without feeling present

Rest that might help for an Enneagram Seven. (Remember, these are just ideas! Use these to help brainstorm or experiment with what might work for you.)

Take a pause in the middle of the day to breathe
Listen to music
Spend time with someone who embraces you fully (the good & the bad)
Remind yourself that you won’t miss out if you take a break
Notice what it feels like to be present & in your body
Make time for stillness to decompress from constant motion

Type Eight

I know I need rest when...

I can’t motivate myself
My body feels tired (it gives me great cues!)
I am very emotional and easily triggered
I feel mentally drained and feel like I can’t do anything
I can’t find motivation to do anything
I’m not enjoying my life
I feel like no one sees or appreciates me (this normally isn’t a big thing for me)

Rest that might help for an Enneagram Eight. (Remember, these are just ideas! Use these to help brainstorm or experiment with what might work for you.)

Listen to something that feels right at the moment
Move your body in whatever way it needs today
Do something silly in a place that feels safe (like dance around your room!)
Watch your favorite “guilty pleasure” show (though we know you don’t feel guilty about it, and we love you for it!)
Start the day with meditation or breathwork
Intentionally move slower

Type Nine

I know I need rest when...

My mind feels like it’s floating
I start to feel apathetic about things
An activity I normally enjoy makes me feel tired
My physical body starts letting me know it’s been pushed too far
I feel restless and start overdoing everything out of stress
I literally cannot stay awake
I am easily overstimulated and everything feels like too much

Rest that might help for an Enneagram Nine. (Remember, these are just ideas! Use these to help brainstorm or experiment with what might work for you.)