A Few Things to Know About Fours
If we’re not careful, the Enneagram archetypes can easily be treated as oversimplified stereotypes. Maybe you’ve already seen examples of this! This post is intended to give a little more clarity about Type Fours — to dig deeper, highlight some things that you may not know, and break down common assumptions.
Type Fours are known to be comfortable with feeling a wide range of emotions. However, it's important to note that they’re not perpetual balls of emotion. They can often put those aside to get things done! So, don’t underestimate Fours – they are very capable. Being driven by authenticity is powerful!
There are so many individual differences within Type Four that sometimes it can feel daunting to try to describe them all in one post (especially because Fours often know themselves so well, they’re able to describe themselves in detail). So, if you have a Four in your life, feel free to use this information as a starting block to engage in conversation with them. I find most often, within a safe & patient environment, they welcome the opportunity to explain how they see the world.
So what else could we be overlooking when it comes to understanding Type Fours? Let’s dive into it!
Quick note: Keep in mind that it’s not my expectation that everything here is 100% true for each individual Four. If you’re a Four,I want you to feel seen and understood, but it’s always helpful to remember that humans are complex, and it’s okay to not perfectly align with everything you read about your type (both on this page and in general).If you’d like to see what other Fours have to say about this post, you can find it on Instagram right here and join the conversation!
Alright, Let’s get into it!
Here are a few things to know about Enneagram Fours!
Common Underlying Motivation
To be truly, deeply understood for who they are (both by themselves and others)
→ Because of this, Fours tend to be very introspective - they often live inside their heads and are thinking and feeling through possibilities, daydreams, and what’s missing or lacking. They also desire to be fully authentic (and how can they know if they’re authentic if they don’t know what’s under the surface?)
Consistently Avoiding
Being inauthentic or insignificant
→ Avoiding being inauthentic often means that Fours spend more time than most other types considering how they feel or what they think about things and why.
You might not know that…
→Not all 4s express their emotions all the time! In fact, 4s can have fears around vulnerability, sharing their thoughts, and being misunderstood, just like anyone else.
→ 4s are often acutely aware that they see things differently than others do. While they sometimes love this about themselves, it can also be a cause of frustration and sadness since they deeply desire to feel understood. Sometimes, 4s intentionally make themselves stand out a bit so they won’t be understood, thinking, “if I make it so you can’t understand me, it won’t hurt as much when I’m misunderstood.” But a lot of 4s stand out because they’re expressing the truest, most authentic self they possibly can at all times (and to be honest, a lot of us are afraid to do that)
→ Many 4s are focused on quality, meaning, and purpose, and they’re willing to shift the direction they’re moving to align with that. Which means they might change their minds or do things differently than others expect because they’re always focusing on aligning with their authentic purpose.
→ One of the biggest misconceptions about 4s is that they are only feelers and not thinkers, and that they can only be creative and artistic and not organized, determined, and logical, but these things are not mutually exclusive! Fours can be alllllll of the above. Competence, confidence, sensitivity, empathy, passion, etc. can all coexist.
→ Sometimes people assume that being emotional is a weakness… but it’s not! 4s are incredibly resilient and can navigate those big, overwhelming emotions well. Being expressive and experiencing big emotions is not limited to sad or melancholy emotions. 4s feel all of the feelings! Gratitude, joy, happiness, and love are all available, too.
→ Many 4s experience having a really tough inner critic because they tend to have a deep sense of lack. Sometimes it’s subconscious, but they might feel that there is something flawed about them, or they’re missing something others have. They might have an internal dialogue that says, “there’s something wrong with me,” and being misunderstood reinforces that. Self-compassion can be powerful for 4s because it can help them see that they are not deficient in any way.
And BTW…
→ 4s can experience pressures to conform, shapeshift, and manage their image, just like the other heart types. This doesn’t mean they always conform, but they are often aware of expectations and whether or not others accept them.
