Productivity Blues

Written By Stephanie Barron Hall

Maybe the most #enneagram3 thing about me is the stack of time management books on my bookshelf.

I love to read about time management, getting motivated, staying inspired, building habits, and getting things done. (You’ll see a few of my favorites later in the email, and I’m also inviting you to some virtual coworking sessions to support each other along the way!)

Photo by Susan Yee

But the reason I love all of this is NOT that I’m naturally good at it - I’ve never been someone who can “Just do it!” Nope. I love reading about these topics because I am SO bad at time management. I find it hard and frustrating to feel motivated and focused unless I’m working on a new project, and most of my habits last about a week.

However, I’ve been learning there are reasons for this!

Of course, there’s the recent ADHD diagnosis I’ve mentioned, but there are other reasons too.

When I started working on my own about 2.5 years ago, I had a natural assumption that I should be able to work a “normal workday,” i.e. about 8+ hours a day. That’s what we’re all supposed to do, right?

And it’s been increasingly frustrating to me that this does not feel possible. Of course, there are days when everything just works, and the entirety of my day flows effortlessly with writing, design work, coaching, and strategizing, but those days are sporadic at best.

So I started seeking more inspiration.

Last year, I read the book 4,000 Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman, and he referenced a particular mind-blowing study* that stated most of us can only do about 3-4 hours of deep work each day. In this definition, deep work is high-quality, creative, intentional work (most of what I do).

*I've lent out the hard copy of the book, so I can't find the exact citation. The same concept can also be found in work by Cal Newport, Andrew Huberman, & Madeleine Dore.

Upon reflection, I realized that many of my hours in a full-time job were spent doing other things too. I was not expected to sit and write and create for hours: there were small tasks to check off, spreadsheets to analyze, meetings to attend, and many small, interpersonal interactions throughout the day. Most of my days were spent on these other tasks, with only a few short hours in that state of flow (and some days didn’t have any deep work at all). The expectation that I could simply sit down and pour out post after post, email after email, now that I am self-employed, was not only impractical but near impossible.

While reading this book, my assumption that I can do it all was replaced with the incredulity that I ever thought I could.

Because we simply cannot simultaneously…

  • Be excellent every day at our very important and fulfilling job 8-12 hrs/day

  • Be a great parent (I’m not there yet, but the thought fills me with dread when I think about all the hard work I see parents putting in daily)

  • Be a present, loving, supportive, and dutiful partner

  • Be a good community member

  • Have a house that’s always put together and never in any state of disarray

  • Keep a well-maintained yard and garden

  • Eat balanced meals

  • Workout

  • Dress well

  • Make sure your makeup and cleaning products are clean and non-toxic

  • Have a skincare routine

  • Don’t overspend on “silly” things like clean skincare

  • Take a bubble bath

  • Drive a car that always has gas, doesn’t need to go to the shop, and is reasonably clean

  • Be a good friend who shows up for others

  • Read books and watch the best shows on tv (but not too much tv!)

  • Be on social media in a consistent and impactful way (but not too much social media!)

  • Have fulfilling hobbies

  • Regularly make time for fun, rest, and leisure

  • Keep a morning routine

  • Learn something new every day

  • Add to a 401k every two weeks

  • Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

All the while maintaining a level of emotional balance and relative happiness! Not to mention, this is all on top of meeting our needs for food, shelter, clothing, and basic health and safety, which is no small feat. When one of these is unmet, whether due to lack of resources, systemic oppression, illness, injury, family challenges, or myriad other circumstances beyond our control, it’s natural for us to fall back into purely meeting survival needs and forgoing anything on the list above (though we might still feel the pressure of those expectations).

Honestly, it’s just comical that we think we can do all of this without completely burning out.



It’s no wonder that we’re exhausted. It’s no wonder time management books are constantly flying off the shelves. Because the pressures and expectations of life are simply too much, and it’s not possible to do it all at once. Most of us have been raised to think that if we learn the right hack, we’d be able to.

I just don’t think that’s true.

And when I think about all of this, it’s no wonder most of us feel overwhelmed trying to keep all the plates spinning every day. It’s no wonder that focusing on one task can feel so cumbersome.

This might really bum you out, but it might also feel like a bit of a release. The knowledge that the expectations are too much and truly no one can do it all was comforting for me.

I can do what I can do.

So that left me wondering: how can I show up fully to every day in a way that feels aligned with my values? How can I choose what’s meaningful in this season of my life and let go of the rest?

I’m still working through what that means for me, but here are a few resources helping me along the way:



And through these resources and others, I’ve found a few strategies to help because even though doing it all is impossible, we still have to do at least some of the things. As someone who struggles to focus at times, these strategies have been helping me lately:

  • Keeping a “done” list rather than only a to-do list

  • Limiting my to-do list to ten things a day (Some days, five!)

  • Turning off my phone or keeping it on Do Not Disturb

  • Having people I can talk with when it’s all too much

  • Body Doubling: sitting with or being around someone else as you get tasks done. For those who work from home, it can be challenging to really get in the groove when it feels lonely or you're left to your own devices when it comes to motivation! This is a common ADHD productivity tip, but you don't have to have ADHD to benefit from it. (I haven’t tried it yet, but this site offers a body-doubling membership + a great explanation of what it is and why it works)

  • FocusMate: a website that pairs you with another person for a virtual body-doubling session - I’m writing this as I’m in a session!

All of the above have been helpful for me! So, in the spirit of 1) helping myself stay focused when I need to, and 2) hearing that so many of you who feel the same stress and struggle, I’m also wanting to help you along the way.

Photo by Susan Yee

If anything in this email resonates with you, I’d love to work together! I’m hosting new body-doubling sessions. We’ll all get on Zoom and work together, virtually.

You can sign up for any of these (FREE) sessions or get more details here.

This is just a free way to help each other get things done when we need to!

Whether you plan to join us or not, I hope you take it easy on yourself this week. If today’s task is getting out of bed and brushing your teeth or applying for a job or holding it together while rocking a new baby or killing it at your important job while caring for an ailing family member, I see you. We don’t have to be shiny and put together and doing it all. And if you ARE doing it all, I hope you’re kind to yourself, too.

Want to learn more about ADHD & how it shows up in women? Right this way.

Stephanie Barron Hall

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