How We Sometimes Overcorrect by Enneagram Type
Overcorrecting behavior — whether it's a manifestation of our type’s passion, or maybe we are noticing our unhelpful behavior patterns and trying out some new things (& we quickly find out that maybe this time around, it wasn't beneficial to me or others) — it's all part of the process.
When we continue our inner work and growth path, we find more and more clarity, but the process can look so messy! So out of a sense of common humanity and learning what works best for us by discovering what doesn’t, let's dive into just a few examples of how we may overcorrect according to our type.
Everything on the list may not resonate with you, and that's okay! As you read this, think about what ways you've found yourself overcorrecting and why it didn't work for you.
If you’d like to see what others of your type have to say about this post, you can find it on Instagram right here, and join the conversation!
Type Nine
• Over-explaining myself in my attempt to be heard
• Intensely speaking my mind or lashing out after a long period of not voicing my thoughts
• Choosing not to take action at all to avoid any negative feedback
• Withdrawing from the conversation completely to avoid being interrupted or dismissed
• Feeling like I need to go "all in" or do nothing at all, especially if I've been avoiding or suppressing something for a while
• Completely neglecting my own boundaries to avoid others being uncomfortable
• Avoiding any small whisper of conflict to the point that the relationship can no longer survive
Type Eight
• Being apologetic for vocalizing my opinions after being seen as "abrasive" or "too direct"
• Over-explaining myself to avoid miscommunication & hurting others' feelings
• Completely avoiding sharing my thoughts and withdrawing from others after being told I'm "too much"
• Losing my own sense of self in my attempt to avoid pushing opinions and ideas onto those around me
• Adjusting my delivery so much so that I'm no longer clear
• Neglecting the boundaries I set for myself to avoid being seen as "harsh" or "intimidating"
• Digging in my heels even more in my attempt to not overcorrect for someone else's sake 😂
Type Seven
• Falling silent after getting the feedback that I'm "too loud" or "too excited"
• Choosing not to contribute any of my ideas to avoid being seen as "flighty"
• Lacking any structure in an attempt to maintain my freedom
• Staying in a situation that is no longer good for me to avoid being seen as someone who "can't commit"
• Not beginning any projects after hearing that I don't finish what I start
• Appearing "aloof" in my attempt to be taken more seriously
• Becoming self-critical in an attempt to fit what I think I'm supposed to be
Type Six
• Becoming silent after hearing that I ask too many questions, thereby missing opportunities to help things go well
• Completely avoiding reliance upon those I love most to ensure I don't get hurt
• Becoming numb in my attempt to manage feelings of anxiousness
• Leaving things intentionally unplanned to avoid being seen as "anxious" or "worrying too much" (but inside it's a lil stressful!!!)
• Rejecting any help or advice as a result of trying not to rely on others too much for reassurance
• Avoiding issues entirely to prevent overthinking
• Completely tuning out the voice in my head that is suspicious of others because I've been told I should just trust people
Type Five
• Lacking depth in conversations I'm interested in to avoid overwhelming others with details
• Choosing to remain quiet in a group setting when it seems my thoughts are not valued (when in reality, I have thoughts and questions!)
• Establishing extreme boundaries after feeling exhausted by trying to navigate boundaries in real-time
• Becoming completely passive to avoid losing energy in my attempt to be part of the team
• Cutting off all sources of help in my journey to become self-sufficient
• Seeking a space of mental equilibrium so often that it becomes my only priority and productivity begins to slip
• Experiencing depletion and doing everything I possibly can to ensure it never happens again
Type Four
• Completely closing off emotionally to avoid being hurt or misunderstood
• Making decisions without emotions and coming off as "cold" in my attempt to be taken seriously
• Lacking any structure as a result of not wanting to be "kept in a box"
• Choosing to be silent in my attempt to control what I say or to avoid oversharing
• After feeling unproductive, spending an extensive amount of time on projects that don't truly matter to me
• Leaving situations unaddressed to avoid overwhelming others by getting "too deep"
• Trying to suppress all of my complexity and intensity and nuance and eccentricity because it just doesn't feel like I fit
Type Three
• Checking out of work completely after long periods of overworking
• Being overly apologetic for things that I can't control, especially if the outcome could be perceived as my responsibility
• Immediately shutting down after being seen as "too loud" or "too much"
• Not taking any risks so that I avoid the chance of "failure"
• Giving extreme amounts of time and energy to a "lacking" area in my life
• Making myself smaller when supporting or highlighting others
• Becoming self-deprecating when people learn I'm a 3 because I know others will perceive me as narcissistic if I say anything kind about myself
Type Two
• Removing all of my boundaries to prevent others' disapproval
• Demanding help after realizing it's okay to ask for it
• Giving more of my time and resources to smooth things over with people who have expressed negative feedback (which may or may not be about me!)
• Feeling guilty about taking time away to rest, so I either a) keep my distance or b) try to avoid rest at all costs
• Setting extreme boundaries around a situation I previously let slide
• Sacrificing how I truly feel in a situation to avoid being seen as "needy" or "difficult"
• Going above and beyond just to make sure no one feels I'm not doing enough for them
Type One
• Taking one piece of criticism and over-applying it to every aspect of my life
• Attempting to become more flexible and then losing any semblance of routine or structure
• Completely taking back responsibility for a task I delegated when I notice one mistake
• Being too gentle when delivering feedback to avoid being seen as "too harsh"
• Over-explaining things with unnecessary details to avoid others pointing out errors
• Trying to fix a situation by holding it tighter and controlling it more... leaving me overwhelmed and the situation unresolved
• Keeping all of my thoughts to myself and trying really hard to "go with the flow" until I combust
A few things to keep in mind:
1️. That we already have everything we need inside of ourselves to get the outcome we’re looking for. We don’t have to alter who we are, make ourselves smaller, or take ourselves out of the ring. The world needs what each of us brings to the table — sometimes, we just need to pause and find the best way to use it.
2️. We’re all human, just trying to do the best we can. Realizing what needs to be adjusted, for our sake or others, is a win in itself. Also, realizing when we may have shot too far in that adjustment — that too is a huge part of growth.
3️. Tools like the Enneagram are incredibly useful to help us with our aim so that the next time we make an adjustment, we can move closer and closer to the target. (That’s why I’m so passionate about helping others use the Enneagram for growth! Because I know it can be so puzzling to even know where to start.)
💡Pssst! If you’re reading this and find yourself wanting tangible guidance on how to find balance when communicating with others, I dedicated an entire module to developing communication clarity in my course, Enneagram IRL. You can find more info here!
